Many times it’s those people who don’t think they are heros who teach us the most about bravery, kindness, and life. A good friend of mine, Laurie Larsen-Caesar, is in the midst of radiation (after going through chemo, then surgery…yup, she’s had the whole 9 yards). Often we see cancer as a battle, a fight. We want our friends with cancer to Win. We want them not to be in pain, so we send our love, prayers, cards, food, and wonder if it’s enough. Wanting to do more but not knowing what.
Recently my friend posted this blog entry: “I’ve been resting, journaling, praying, walking, singing, and watching the autumn leaves turn bright, drop, and wash away under metal-gray skies. Fall in Oregon, with a book and a fireplace, feels like the perfect place to curl up under a blanket and heal! And healing I’m doing, though slowly.”
Maybe ‘winning’ and ‘fighting’ cancer (and other issues in our lives) isn’t the only answer? Healing often moves slowly. Yet when it comes to ourselves with issues we face in our own lives, we often spend at least a portion of our time berating ourselves that we aren’t better/perfect/well yet. My friend is choosing to be kind to herself and do simple things that bring her joy. She’s allowing herself the TIME to grow, to heal, to change.
Maybe something we can do to help our friends with cancer is to give ourselves permission to heal areas of need in our own lives? To do simple things that bring us joy, treat ourselves with kindness, allow ourselves the respect, and finally take the time to heal ourselves of any physical, emotional, or hidden hurts?
Thanks, Laurie, for SHOWING us how to heal.
I love this post, Barb. Such good wisdom. So often we hear about battling cancer and other illnesses… waging war, defeating, beating, conquering. Such violence in that language — it runs the risk of empowering the very thing it aims to overcome. Focusing on healing — whether it be cancer, other ailments, grief, or secret hurts — robs the “enemy” of power and brings goodness into the world and those around us. Thank you so much for these insights. Sending healing thoughts and much gratitude to you and to your friend.
Well said, Sue. I sent my friend the link to this post and she says she loves it. She is a living example of SHOWING how to heal:)